Broken

One night while I was in the prison, almost 6 months at that point actually, a peculiar thing occurred. It still freaks me out to this day how it happened. I woke up suddenly from a fairly deep sleep; the deepest sleep possible all things considered. It literally was like snap and I woke up.

I laid there for a bit as a random poem literally flashed into my mind. I really, really didn’t want to move knowing that the second I did I’d be miserable trying to get settled again without waking anyone.

But I had to get it wrote down before I forgot it, and I’d have to be quiet as a mouse getting out my writing supplies. As I laid there this poem kept intensely nagging at me. I knew this was one of those rare moments in life when you receive something amazing and precious, and even a little bit divine.

I say divine because these words were only given to me; and I was just the vessel to share it. I knew for sure if I didn’t write them down at that very moment I’d lose it forever! So I very quietly got paper and pen and began to write down the poem just as it was given to me, exactly as I heard it, word for word, in the very pale glow of the night in the dorm……Broken

25 October 08 / midnight

BROKEN

I was broken into pieces; like being pinned between car and tree.

My heart was bleeding out all my love; my soul literally fading out of me.

If you’d seen me in that condition you’d have thought I’d never live.

But what no one could see, not even me, was the miracle of me learning to forgive.

~

Just as all the life I had left was almost completely gone,

I heard my Savior and My God calling me back,

“No, wait my child, you’ve not sung your last song”

Then “There’s still so much more for you to do, but that will come in time.

No brokenness is too great for Me sweet precious child of Mine!

Right here, right now, its time to heal as I embrace you in my love.

So close your eyes, rest in me, and let Jesus hold you up; as I heal you from heaven above”

~

It was as though the pain wasn’t happening to me;

As though it wasn’t my body, heart and soul feeling crushed between car and tree,

Instead I could feel the sweet, wonderful grace of God miraculously beginning to set me free.

~

As I closed my eyes I realized I’d been given another chance.

I’d live to love again, hold my children, and with my husband I would dance.

I’m healed now in every way, that was almost a year ago.

Anyone who sees me now would never have a way to know,

The condition I once was in, as now my new life began,

With my eyes on the cross as I go!

~

But the proof of it is that I survived at all after being broken up like that.

Because without the mighty hand of God theres no way I could’ve ever made it back!!

So believe me as I tell you there really is hope for ANYONE!

That hope is in God’s love for you and in His only risen Son!

~

The only thing required is that you make a simple choice.

So Just reach out to Him, He’s always there, and cry out in your loudest voice;

“My God, My Savior, please rescue me” and then to you HE WILL RUN!!

……….Then just let Him hold and heal you, feel His amazing grace,

Because now your new life too has just begun!……………

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About SKari Kari

Just SKari Kari HMM, THEY CALL ME SKARI KARI SO LET ME START WITH WHY I'M SKARI!! LOOKS ARE DECEIVING..... AND ALSO BECAUSE ~ I'M INTENSE, I'M A SCORPIO, WOULD YOU EXPECT LESS? I GIVE A LOT, AND EXPECT FAIR PLAY. I CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING LESS. I DON'T JUDGE, BUT DAMN DON'T JUDGE ME! BEING WISE LIKE THE SAGE I'M AN ENERGY READER AND CHANCES ARE I CAN TELL WHAT YOUR THINKING! I AM PRETTY LOUD, SOMEWHAT EMOTIONAL, ASSERTIVE (THAT'S NOT AGGRESSIVE BY THE WAY, UNLESS PROVOCED OF COURSE) AND 100% LOGIC DRIVEN. THIS IS WHERE I CAN BE REALLY SKARI, CAUSE ITS SKARI ARGUEING YOUR POINT WITH ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. IT'S HARD TO BULL SHIT ME!! I MAY ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW YOU ARE, CALLING YOU ON IT REQUIRES A LOT MORE OF MY PRECIOUS ENERGY, BUT I WILL KNOW!!!!! ALWAYS. SO DON'T RISK IT! I GET MY FACTS STRAIGHT OR I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, SO WATCH OUT IF I'M PIPING UP WITH MY FEELINGS AND/OR OPINION, YOU CAN BET I'VE GOT A CALCULATED, EDUCATED ONE AND MY POSITION WILL BE POINTED AND FIXED. ON THE OFF CHANCE I AM WRONG, I PROMISE, I'LL APPOLOGIZE!! THIS MAKES ME A STRONGER, AND MORE ENDURING WOMAN AND YOU'LL BE GLAD WHEN I'M ON YOUR SIDE, OR WHEN I GO THE EXTRA MILE FOR YOU BECAUSE I THINK ITS WORTH IT. I'M A DIE HARD...THE HARDER IT GETS, THE HARDER I FIGHT. I DO KNOW WHEN TO CUT MY LOSSES THOUGH. I LOVE BEING TAKEN CARE OF BUT I GOTTA HAVE MY INDEPENDENCE, I'VE FOUGHT FOR IT LIKE THE CIVIL FUCKING WAR!! HA! OH YEA, FUCK IS MY FAVORITE WORD. I WILL TAKE REALLY REALLY GOOD CARE OF YOU TOO... I CAN ONLY DO IT IF YOUR NOT ONE SIDED. I'VE BEEN MARRIED TWICE. THAT'S ALL IT WILL EVER BE! FIRST TIME WAS PRETTY SHORT AND I'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS TIME FOR 20 YEARS NOW. HE'S NOT JUST THE MOST AMAZING MAN, BUT THE MOST AMAZING PERSON ON THE PLANET. WE PUT UP WITH EACH OTHER CAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER, BUT ITS ALWAYS A FUCKING RIDE!!! AND YET ITS ALWAYS WORTH IT IN THE END. HE MAKES ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY, AND LET'S ME BE MYSELF. THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T BITCH PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE TIME, BUT IN THE END, HE'S ALWAYS THERE, THANK GOD!!! I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM TOO. I'M DEFINATELY A SUPER GIRLY GIRL, AND I'M VAIN! THEY WROTE THAT SONG ABOUT ME BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN. BUT... ON THE OTHER HAND I'M NOT LADY LIKE AT ALL. I'M KNOWN TO GIVE A LOUD BELCH OR "FUCK" OR EVEN A "FUCK YOU" BUT NOT IN THE LIBRARY OR HOSPITAL, OF COURSE. I DON'T MIND BEING ALONE, BUT HATE GOING PLACES BY MYSELF!! I LOVE TO TRY NEW THINGS, AND REPEATING ALL THE STUFF I LOVE OVER AND OVER, LIKE TIPPING MY BEER CAN, PLAYING MUSIC, ROLLER DERBY, AND SO ON..... SPEAKING OF MUSIC, BEYOND MY FAMILY

3 responses to “Broken”

  1. Nanci says :

    Beautiful …..

    • SKari Kari says :

      Thank you Nanci! I have quite a few poems from that year. That one is my favorite though. I love how it came to me and I love the words, and like I said if it hadn’t happened to me like that I probably wouldn’t believe it lol. But I can still remember that night as if it just happened last night.

  2. Linda Lynch says :

    I am reading from your heart again and it touches me like it did the first time. I am proud to call you my daughter. God used this situation to grow you as a human being, and to help others. I love you Kari Anne!

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